Brooklyn Nine-Nine: ‘Pontiac Bandit’

It’s been a very strong freshman season for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. At its core, it’s a workplace comedy which we’ve seen hundreds of times over, but the fact that it takes place in the police world brings so many fresh flavors. Any “serious” plot from a crime show or cop procedural that have taken place countless times over the years can be flipped into the whacky world where The Nine-Nine chase around crazy characters and it fits.

For instance, what may have been an arc about a cop who has been trying to find a criminal that they have been chasing for years, turns into a fun story about how Jake Peralta can never locate this allusive Pontiac Bandit he’s been searching for. In addition to the promising plot, Craig Robinson guest stars as said bandit and is immediately a welcome addition to the cast. Every scene he was in, he played off really well with Andy Samberg and Stephanie Beatriz and, thankfully, the writers wisely leave the door open for a return(s) from Doug Judy. Another great part of the story was the pairing of Peralta and Rosa and we got a sense of their backstory with the “1000 pushups” guarantee.

Back at the station, the rest of the ensemble was interwoven amongst two very enjoyable B and C stories. The catalyst was how the gang slowly began to turn on Boyle after he returned from his injury of being shot in the buttocks, the best gag coming out of it being when Terry was forced to literally pick him up and shake him so he Boyle could use the urinal. I also continue to find Gina’s sense of the world charming as she leaves a “Gone Leavin” sign on her desk; she’s essentially what the offspring of Tom Haverford and April Ludgate would be.

Andre Braugher continues to show that deadpan humor can be the funniest. Anything involving him trying to get others at the station to adopt the puppies was gold. And after finding out Gina was live-tweeting (an act he no longer approves of since Downton Abbey was spoiled for him) the unit hiding from Boyle, it was nice, albeit predictable, moment when he decided the puppies would be best for Boyle. An all-around strong episode and hopefully the show will close out its first season with more to come like this.

Other moments of note:

• “He’s stolen 230 that I know of. The real number could be in the millions.”…. “Do you need a math tutor? Because the department will provide one for you.” I will never grow tired of The Captain’s deadpan delivery in response to Peralta.
• “Why stop there? Why not tell her you’re an astronaut?” – Rosa … “Because space is scary!” – Doug Judy
• “This is my personal assistant, Mangy Carl.” – Doug telling his Mom who Peralta was to him.
• Doug Judy helps down on their luck white people.
• “What about choppas? You got choppas?” – Doug. Damn Robinson was on fire this episode.
• “Please get out of my way, I’m physically disabled.”  Robot voice on Boyle’s scooter

New Girl: ‘Clavado En Un Bar’

In its first episode back from the midseason break, New Girl delivered in a flash-back heavy episode which hit a perfect balance of laughs and sweetness. The premise is a simple one that almost every person deals with at some point in their life, at least several times: what do I want to be?

The specific dilemma put forth in front of Jess is to either remain a teacher, her dream job, for a vastly underfunded school, or to take a job at the Children’s Museum which would not only pay more but bring less stress to her life. Luckily for Jess Day, and us, she has several people in her life willing to chime in with their own suggestions and give her some insight into when they dealt with a similar scenario.

With a mere nineteen minutes before her friend calls to ask for a decision, Winston is first to explain the decision making process, or what turns out to be a lack-there-of in his case. After being gifted a basketball from birth, Winston’s whole life was centered on developing his basketball career. Clearly this was never the right path for him as he is the ninth man off the bench for the eighth best team in Latvia before getting traded to the outdoor, inclined league. This definitely gives us some insight as to why Winston is crazy person since he’s never actually made a real decision of his own.

Schmidt takes a stab at some advice next, and we find out his rise to douchiness started when he was a simple volunteer candy striper. The story is very Barney Stinson-esque since he sees a successful guy in a suit get the girl, thrusting him into the cutthroat world of marketing. His first stop is to the Christmas tree farm (cue ‘Gangsta Paradise’) where he meets his mentor Old Man McQue. McQue, unfortunately wasn’t in Schmidt’s life for long: “in the words of the late, great Sir Billy Joel: only the good die young.” But before he goes he does impart the wisdom of that “the reward is in the destination, not in the journey.” So Schmidt’s advice to Jess is to follow the money.

Coach is able to chime in with a quick tip of his own, to follow your passion. We find out how he first got his nickname of “Coach” and that his real name is Ernie.

The Nick story was a little more personal and did a great job of building the Nick/Jess relationship. Nick reveals how much he disliked law school until he found a great place to study, the very bar they find him tending today. Eventually he shows Jess that he actually ended passing the bar but he could tell that he would enjoy his life a lot more if he followed his true calling. On top of that, Cece recaps to Jess to Jess the first time they met and how Jess was able to “teach” her how to read even without her glasses. It was a great showcase for the girls who haven’t had much screen time together this season and it’s enough of persuasion to push Jess into making the decision to remain a teacher.

Not only a great premiere but also sets up some storied for the rest of the season. This gives Cece an opportunity to interact with Nick which has really yet to happen, assuming she ends up sticking around as a fellow bartender. Also, Winston decides to quit his job and to finally start making some decisions of his own, maybe we‘ll start getting some real Winston plotlines for once.

Other moments of note:

• Brian Posehn guest staring as the science teacher who has to share his classroom with Jess was hilarious. I could listen to awkwardly list anything, especially all the different types of people who are “anti-future”.
• “Sick people wanted me, dying people wanted to be me.” – Schmidt describing his time as a Candy Striper.
• “We had an ethnic, gay bully.” – Jess
• “We’re not the only ones looking for him. So is the FBI.” – Schmidt reading the information of Jess’ first student.
• “Lady she’s still got one minute!” – Coach accidentally yelling at a butt-dial from Jess’ Mom. Probably my favorite Coach line so far.
•  “I call it tea water.” – Nick on his concoction of putting a tea bag in water.

How I Met Your Mother: ‘Platonist’

 It’s entirely possible that the Bays and Thomas plan for this season was to set the bar so low at the onset of the never-ending wedding weekend so that they could put together episodes like ‘Platonist’ and the HIMYM faithful would praise it for returning to form. So I don’t want to praise this one too much based on what it’s being compared to but, by golly, that wasn’t half bad.

The episode opens in the drudgery of Farhampton where Robin is understandably grieving about her mother(*) not being able to make it to her wedding so Barney declares that it will be his mission to cheer her up and, as so often he does, accepts his own challenge. And while at this point I was very fearful that this would turn into another 23 minutes of stalling, it quickly turned into a complete flashback episode taking place 6 months prior to the wedding, giving us a much needed reminder of what this show used to be: an interesting premise about relationships with a moderate amount of jokes mixed in.

(*) I don’t see any scenario where her mother doesn’t end up before the end of the series, especially after the recurring joke that the rest of gang knows almost nothing about her.

The initial premise revolves around the idea that of whether anyone in the group is truly platonic friends with anyone else. Despite Ted’s best effort to insist that he and Robin are platonic, Barney explains how it wouldn’t even take him 20 minutes to get back with Robin if given the chance. In fact, Marshall and Robin are the only combination that would never happen and we see that Marshall would rather have MacLaren’s blow-up, with them inside of it, then have to kiss Robin. This theory gets Ted thinking and we spend a large portion of the episode him discussing his feeling on this Marshall. While I am completely over Ted/Robin storyline since we’ve known for eight years that they don’t ultimately get together, but it’s been a long time since we’ve had a Ted/Marshall hang-out and I really enjoyed the fact that they’re fans of the Washington Generals.

Meanwhile while Ted and Marshall were at the basketball game, Lily and Robin finally called Barney out on declaring challenges for himself that were relatively easy to accomplish. So in order to prove he could beat any challenge, he decides to marathon a bunch of them all in one night. As annoying as the first challenge was, picking up a girl while talking like a dolphin, it was fun to watch him try to accomplish them in a short period of time. And wisely they didn’t keep it a running theme throughout the episode as the girls quickly grew tired of it. Instead, Barney becomes the second member of the group (well technically first since chronologically he met her before Lily) to meet The Mother. Apparantly this mystery woman can solve the world’s problems with ease, which is a little ludicrous, but it was a nice moment that she became the first challenge Barney couldn’t complete and it resulted in him realizing how much he wanted Robin.

As always, the show needs to utilize more of The Mother. It’s not a coincidence that the best episodes of the season have occurred with her in them. I’d really like to see a full flash-forward episode with her just hanging out with the group after she’s been integrated in, it has the potential for a great dynamic. All in all this was a very positive step in the right direction and hopefully we’ll get more episodes like this going forward.

Other moments of note:

• This episode also brought the return of Bryan Cranston as Hammond Druthers. It’s impossible not to love Cranston but he was given absolutely no material to work with here, it’s a huge credit to him that it wasn’t cringe-inducing to watch his scenes thanks to ability to really sell a joke. However, I did love the continuity of him still having his baseball that Lily once tried to steal to teach him a lesson.
• “I can say with absolute certainty that Brussels sprouts are the comeback vegetate of a century.” – Ted panicking to come up with an excuse.
• “But then we can haunt the bar for eternity like we always planned.” – Marshall weighing the pros and cons of the bar blowing up.
• One more swipe of the blue French horn in hypothetical world. I’ve completely lost track of how many times that thing has shown up.

New Girl: ‘The Captain’

Schmidt acting as a human dental dam.

For an episode that leans much more towards sweet than it does hilarity, ‘The Captain’ accomplished a lot in terms of leveling things back out after a roller coaster first three episodes. This won’t go down as one of the funniest episodes of New Girl (although there were plenty of funny one-liners as usual), but there was a lot of great character work here that will shape the rest of the season to come.

For one, Nick Miller has feelings ladies and gentlemen, lots of feelings. Fantastic job here by Jake Johnson as we watched our lovable curmudgeon fight through countless years-worth of hate of and bitterness that have piled upon his life; emerging as a new man who loves where he finds himself and won’t let even the most diabolical of plans ruin this for him. Everything about the Jess/Nick relationship worked here and when you see such great onscreen chemistry between actors it’s a joy to watch. Nick is still going to be weird and disgruntled but maybe now he’ll start taking a more proactive approach to his life as we saw with him here standing up to Schmidt.

As for Schmidt, I’m really glad the show isn’t taking an easy route here and sweeping what he did under the rug. Sure it made for a funny plot watching him try to break-up Nick and Jess for revenge, but thankfully Jess calls him out for it at the end when he’s sitting there in his estrogen-induced stupor and wisely tells him that he has to deal with the fact that what he did was wrong. This could actually turn into a really compelling arc as we watch Schmidt try to recover from a personal low point. It’s tough to make a sitcom character do something morally reprehensible because a comedy functions on the audience rooting for and laughing along with a character which is tough to do when you hate them for their previous actions. But since they’re making us aware that Schmidt knows he was wrong and that the other characters are in no way condoning him I think New Girl can pull this off.

And this week in "What crazy thing is Winston up to?", we see him try to find a lover for his cat which apparently is here to stay as a fifth roommate in the loft. At least we did get a guest appearance from the very talented Riki Lindhome(*) but that wasn’t enough to save it. Ugh, they could have at least made Winston realize that the girl was into him and then he could have messed up the date in some other manor but nope, he’s just a lunatic with a cat now that has no feel for society. I’d say the writing staff is doing a disservice to this character but honestly I don’t have a suggestion for what they could do better here, he’s so far removed from every main storyline the show has ever done that you can’t even locate the rope to pull him back him.

(*) Who would have been a great add to the ensemble for 4 or 5 episodes as Winston’s new girlfriend but alas. If you’ve never listened to some her two woman band Garfunkel and Oates you’re missing out. Here’s their Youtube channel should it strike your fancy: http://www.youtube.com/user/rikilind?feature=watch

Other moments of note:

• Jake Johnsons’ deliver of “eat a banana” had me laughing for longer than I’m willing to admit.
• “I have to go move my car!” – Nick’s quick escape phrase.
• “How comfortable are you with racial slurs?” – Schmidt describing “the captain” to Jess.
• “That’s degrading to not only women but for all of mankind.” – Jess after performing “the captain.”
• “If we had to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings.” – Nick with a very fine point. 

How I Met Your Mother: ‘The Broken Code’

We’re 51 hours away from the wedding, and more importantly 51 hours away from putting this old dog of a show out of its misery. At this point we’re not doing good ol’ HIMYM any favors but letting it linger around, we’re selfishly keeping it by our side because we grew so fond of what it was in its prime and, despite better judgment, we’re hoping against hope that we can see one last trick, one last sparkle in its eye before it passes on. But the waiting is getting very, very painful.

The glaring problem is obviously the lack of Jason Segel. I’m assuming pat of his agreement to return for this final ninth season entailed an agreement that would allow for him to shoot movies, reminisce about Freaks and Geeks, or just try and detach his name as much as possible from this sinking ship of a show. But in the latter years here he’s often been the only source of laughter and it’s made the show that much worse to relegate to this awful road trip plot that absolutely no one asked for or wants to see. It would almost be better at this point if they didn’t give him any screen time until he can “arrive” at the wedding and just give us some more of ‘The Mother’ interacting with Ted in flash forwards.

What was especially annoying about ‘The Broken Code’ in particular is how rehashed both stories seemed. In the plot of Ted/Barney/Robin love triangle it’s literally been repeated time and time again and I’m not even sure if we’ve seen the last of it since it was alluded to early on that Ted went to visit Stella in Los Angeles to retrieve the missing locket. I just don’t understand what the writers think they can milk out of this. How many times can Ted come to the realization that Robin isn’t the right woman from him? And especially now that we have an actual visual image of ‘The Mother’ how do they expect to feel any real tension here? The whole thing comes off as total filler and a waste of time.

The other story involving Robin and her lack of female friends other than Lily was simply uninspired. We’ve seen lots of other sitcom characters and groups of friends talk about how very few friends they have outside of the main characters (which has more to do with actual practicality of keeping the cast small) so there was nothing new or groundbreaking here. The humor in Lily essentially being a crazy person which makes up for the Robin’s quantity of acquaintances was lost on me so we’ll just move on and chalk this up to a wasted episode as we head down the Mom stretch.

Other moments of note:

• Is Lily really one to critique Robin on her lack of other female friends? She’s not exactly a social butterfly either.
• Are they seriously going run this “thank you Linus” joke that far beneath the ground? Considering these episodes are taking place over several hours she has to be close to blacking out.
• Billy Zabka and Tim Gunn had fairly fun cameos at the poker table but I’m skeptical of the dubious ending which implies we haven’t seen the end of Zabka. Also, since when has the gang become so casual about running into celebrities like Tim Gunn? Ted doesn’t even bat an eye about him being there.
• I’m glad they kept the continuity of Marshall always winning at games, even in pillow form.

Breaking Bad: ‘Granite State’

“Remember what I told you? It’s not over until *coughing fit*” – Walt

Hard to watch for all the right reasons. Breaking Bad has transcended past a television show, it’s become an experience that hits you, and hits you hard. What separates it from so many similar shows/movies/books is that there are appropriate repercussions for every awful decision that these people make, even if they’re remorseful.

Jesse Pinkman is the model for this case of devastation, as he never had bigger aspirations than maybe buying his aunt’s house, all the weed he, Badger, and Skinny Pete can smoke, and maybe eventually find a nice girl to settle down with. But in order to accomplish this he cooked and sold meth and he killed a man along the way. Granted it was for his preservation, it was either Gale’s life or his and Walt’s, but it was a life he took away from this world and, unfortunately, no bad deed goes unnoticed. Jesse was sorry and he wanted out, especially after he witnessed Todd murder an innocent child for their cause, but in the world of Breaking Bad he doesn’t get off just because he’s regretful. He’s not innocent and so he gets what’s coming to him for the poor decisions he made in the past, which hurts both him, and us.

See, Vince Gilligan doesn’t let the viewers get off either. This is what we get for rooting for these guys. This is our punishment for cheering on Walt and Jesse as they profited off of the destruction of others. The depression for every character left standing is so great, and so intense, that it is boiling out of the screens and into our world. Because in our world there are repercussions too. You simply can’t run a meth empire and get away with it without losing a whole lot along the way.

The easy way out would have been if the Nazis just killed Jesse in the desert, moments after Hank was laid to waste. Instead we have to endure wade through the wallowing waters of the life that belongs to Jesse Pinkman, where rock bottom doesn’t seem to exist. Even in as late of a chapter that we find ourselves, there was still a glimmer of hope though when Jesse takes a page out of the book of Mr. White and MacGyvers his way out of Todd’s torture chamber. For a brief moment there escape and triumph in the world where it otherwise seemed so bleak. But again, there’s no escaping to any other life beyond death. Jesse can’t even make it over the fence before the neo-Nazis catch him and then force his to watch Todd execute possibly the most traumatizing murder we’ve seen to date on this show. That Opie, dead-eye monster kills Andrea, a rare truly innocent person on the show, and Jesse can do nothing but scream helplessly, just as Walt did before him when they started the shootout with Hank, and any minimal amount of hope he had left was squashed out.

And then there’s Walter White, the pinnacle of pathetic. A man who’s now almost unrecognizable after spending his last few dying months in the isolated mountains of New Hampshire. When he retreats there in hiding he literally has nothing left to do but count his money and wait out the rest of his dying days. This was the great Heisenberg(*), the man who once ran an international meth conglomerate that started from a simple RV. And now he’s nothing. From trying to pay a man $10,000 for a couple hours of his time to having his son demand that he just die, Walt is a shell so hollowed out that there’s no reason for him to going on like this. He makes a phone call to the DEA to turn himself in once and for all so maybe he can at least allow his family to get on with their lives. That is until Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz happen upon the television in his local bar.

(*) We do get one last look at the former legend when Walt makes an attempt to brave the weather and don the hat we’ve grown accustomed to associating with treachery. But in his fragile, cancer-riddled state Walt promises himself a “tomorrow” that doesn’t come for quite a while.

In an interview with Charlie Rose the Schwartz’s explain how Walter White had nothing to do with building their company other than being one half of the name of Gray Matters. Boy, if there was ever something someone could say that could cause Walter White to reignite his flame, it would be to say that he wasn’t important. We learned a long time ago that Walter White was in this game for more than money, he wanted to be revered. He wanted people to see him for the powerful genius he always knew he truly was, not as the hard luck chemistry teacher who barely has a dollar to his name (sadly this is the only man that Walt Jr. needed him to be). So now Walt knows he’s going out, let’s see how many people he deems worthy enough to take with him.

Other moments of note:

• This show always does such a fantastic job of creating characters and making them seem insanely interesting. There was no exception here with Saul’s “guy,” Ed, played by Robert Forster. Immediately we became invested in this guy as he sets up these new lives for Saul and Walt and I would totally watch a spin-off show where Ed has to make other criminals disappear off into the wild blue yonder.
• Speaking of spin-offs, it’s clear now why Better Call Saul is going to be a prequel. I’m guessing we won’t be seeing Saul next week as he’s off to run the Cinnabon in Nebraska but there’s still plenty of his story to tell on his next show. Heck maybe after season four they’ll flash-forward to present day and we can see him restart his life and buy his three pairs of Dockers.
• Jesse got his cook up to 96%? Walt really did teach him well. At least Todd was nice enough to reward him with some ice cream.
• Todd has become such a creepy villain. The scene where he intimidates Skyler in Holly’s room is truly terrifying and I can only hope he bites the bullet next week.
• I wonder how many times Walt has watched Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium by now…

What did everyone else think? Comments are always welcome.

Primetime Emmy Awards: 2013 (And Some Bears/Steelers) Live Blog

Ah there’s just too much on television tonight. Say what you will about how inaccurate it is for many shows/actors that deserve the awards, but I want to watch the Emmys because it is the culmination of a year of television which basically fuels me, and this blog, on a weekly basis. I also want to watch the Bears vs. Steelers game over on NBC. As a Bears fan living in Indianapolis I get to watch about 27.8% of their games every season so I hate to squander a chance, even if it’s against the lowly Steelers that they’ll probably lose embarrassingly to. Then of course there’s two dramas airing in the 9:00 slot that have certainly piqued my interest. Breaking Bad has its penultimate episode airing and of course it has to be watched in a timely manner to avoid internet spoilers. And finally but certainly least is Dexter which probably be pushed to the end of my night, if not tomorrow, but it is the end of a show that lasted eight years and it did have its moments over the years.

The Emmys and the Bears undoubtedly have the most “live” appeal since it sucks to watch a sports game after it’s happened and the Emmys are way more fun when you’re reading tweets about how happy/disappointed people are with the goings-on. So my thumb will be getting a lot of work hitting the ‘recall’ button between the two until at least 9:30. By then the anticipation of watching Breaking Bad will force me to break into the DVR and watch. At least by then enough will be recorded so I can fly through the commercials.

So I’m going to keep this pretty concise to the big categories and stray observations of the broadcast, plus the occasional Bears update as the game goes along. Oh and I’m sure I’ll miss more than couple noteworthy moments (especially after I check in on Walter White and the gang) but it is what it is, let’s watch the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards.

The show kicks off with our host Neil Patrick Harris walking down a hallway talking about everything he’s sacrificing by hosting for a second time. He’s led into a room filled with monitors (Matrix style) where he takes on the envious task of trying to binge-watch an entire year of television. The shows characters are edited to appear as if they’re helping to coach Neil through this and give him some advice but the sketch falls very flat and seems very messy. The monologue isn’t much better as NPH plays it extremely safe with his jabs, I suppose I’ve grown accustom to more of a roast format here. Former hosts begin to come on stage, Jimmy Kimmel and Jane Lynch help Neil by talking him through this. They, of course, are followed by Jimmy Fallon and Conan O'Brien to complete the line of all the recent hosts. Conan explains how different the world was when he hosted: “people had storage and they didn’t even have to fight for it.” The camera pans out and we see Kevin Spacey break the fourth wall and talk to directly to us, the viewers, as he explains how this was all part of his plan. Finally, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler chime in with some commentary about the direction they’d like to see the show go. I’m pretty sure these two who can do no wrong at this point.

This segues into Fey and Poehler presenting the first award of the night, Outstanding supporting actress for a Comedy Series. And shockingly the award goes to Merrit Wever for Nurse Jackie, Modern Family didn’t win! Great acceptance speech: “Thank you so much. I gotta to go, bye.”

Switching over to NBC just in time to watch Carrie Underwood sing the Sunday Night Football song, haven’t missed anything from the game yet.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a comedy series goes to Tony Hale! Yes the Modern Family shake-up  has begun! Wow they’re playing Tony Hale off very quickly though, you’d think there’d be some extra time after Merrit literllay took 5 seconds for hers. I’ve never seen Veep but I love Tony Hale in everything he’s been in and he was very deserving of the award.

Channel change over to Bears game, they’re not losing!

Back over to the Emmys and out come Alec Baldwin and Jon Hamm who is looking amazing with a beard. For the record, I’d love to watch a show with these two. They present the award for best lead actress in a comedy series and it goes to Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. Well, at least the Modern Family Empire toppled down but the JLD monopoly keeps Poehler off the board for another year. Tony Hale hilariously goes up there with her after being played off by the music after he won.

Bears up 3-0 but ugh, they just gave up a 10 yard run to Felix Jones, could be a long night.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series goes to Jim Parsons. I have to say this seems like an “asterisk category” without Nick Offerman being nominated, but whatever. I’m not a fan of Big Bang Theory but you can’t blame that on Parsons, he really does carry that show.

Woah, Bears quickly up 10-0, Steelers must have had a turnover.

Matt Damon and Michael Douglas introduce Elton John who will be performing. Sorry Elton but I’m going to assume you rock it out there and switch back over to NBC for a few minutes. Bears are at the 5 yard line!? Holy cow they score here and it make my decisions of what to watch for the rest of the night much easier. They do, 1 yard touchdown run by Michael Bush. Scratch that, refs called him down at the two inch line, Tressman challenges. Bears lose the challenge and decide to go for it on fourth down. Bush gets in for 18^th time on this series, 17-0 Bears. Although as Matt Forte owner I really could have used him getting the score instead of Bush… okay so it’s hard to write about sports and make it sound exciting.

Back to Emmys, looks like Damon and Douglass (coming to CBS this fall) accepted an award from someone. Cool? Arg, both shows at commercial at the same time and BB started 7 minutes ago. Must. Be. Patient.

The cast of HIMYM give us a public service announcement about EHD (Excessive Hosting Disorder). Arsenio Hall as he has also been afflicted with this disease. Hah, we find out that NPH can get help at ‘The Ryan Seacrest Center for Excessive Hosting’, got to admit that was pretty funny.

Henry Bormell wins for best writing posthumously. Glad he got to win and that episode of Homeland he wrote (“Q&A”) was really fantastic, especially in a season of Homeland which was not at the top of its game. Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series goes to Anna Gunn, time for the Breaking Bad annihilation to begin.

Back over to the Bears, Pittsburgh is in the red zone which seems to be a recurring theme every time I switch channels. Roethlisberger makes a poor throw so the Steelers are forced to take the field goal. 17-3 Bears.

It’s about time Neil breaks into a musical number. The song takes a meta approach as the songs theme is about it being in the middle of the show as opposed to it being a typical opening musical number like always. Hey at least Nathan FIllion comes out to sing with him, but as much as I love Sarah Silverman I’m pretty disappointed that Felicia Day isn’t out there. Would have been a nice Doctor Horrible reunion. Oh and Outstanding Reality Competition goes to The Voice. Yup, don’t care.

Bears get a pick 6 from Major Wright. His Dad, Sergeant, must be so proud. 24-3 Bears.

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series goes to Bobby Canavalle. Wow what an upset,I guess I need to start watching Boardwalk Empire. I would have loved to see Jonathon Banks win though for the work he did on Breaking Bad… and apparently Canavalle’s married to Rose Byrne so he’s just piling it on these other nominees.

Crap, Roethlisberger to Antonio Brown for a Steelers touchdown. 24-10 Chicago and somehow I keep switching over just in time to watch every score.

Holy cow, Jeff Daniels wins for Best Actor in a Drama Series. Lots and lots of upsets this year but I can’t say I’m ecstatic about this one. If it’s not going to go to Cranston then can we at least give it to Jon Hamm? Otherwise AMC is going to keep splitting up this final season of Mad Men until he wins one. Speaking of Mad Men, Don Cheadle gives us a history of television in the 1960’s. Save it for Mathew Weiner, Emmys. 

Now Carrie Underwood is singing ‘Yesterday’ for some reason, big night for her on both channels I’m watching but this move doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series goes to Clare Danes. No surprise, move along everyone. Back to the Bears game. Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth are discussing how Jay Cutler was brought in to help interview who the Bears coach would be. And now it’s halftime. There’s some strange music set to themes of shows? Sorry I missed the introduction to whatever this is, I was over on the Bears game for a while and I think I’m going back. Of course during halftime of the game almost nothing happened on the Emmys... Approximately 40 minutes until I start Breaking Bad.

Outstanding Variety Series goes to The Colbert Report! It’s been a night of upsets and I’m really glad that Colbert finally gets his due. You have to figure that Jon Stewart taking off the whole summer has something to do with The Daily Show not winning for 138^th straight time but you can’t say this wasn’t a long time coming.

Haven’t checked in on the Bears in a while, they’re up to 27-13 with 5 minutes left in the third quarter. One more score by them and I don’t see any way this beleaguered Steelers team can put up enough points to win. Matt Forte got his ankle rolled over on the last play and has to limp to the sideline, that doesn’t bode well.

Time for the always sad In-Memoriam, although this year we got a few deaths covered early on in the broadcast making death a repeated theme throughout the evening. As usual we lost some great ones, but at least we still have Miley Cyrus.  

Wow Antonio Brown just made an absolutely amazing one-handed grab for a Steelers touchdown. 27-20 Bears but the Steelers have all the momentum. Urgh. On the bright side it looks like Matt Forte is fine.

Michael Douglass wins for his role in Behind the Candelabra. He makes a few gay puns and has a laugh with Matt Damon about them. We’re 10:59 and still have a ways to go here. Let’s go Emmys, I want to watch my show!

Will Ferrell brings his kids up to present the last awards for best Comedy and Drama. How does this man crack me up so easily? He comes up completely disheveled explain he just got a call from the Emmys 45 minutes ago that they needed him to come fill in for Maggie Smith. The award for Outstanding Comedy Series goes to Modern Family. There’s no justice that it won over Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, Louie, New Girl, etc. but the Emmy voters love this show for some reason and that will never change.

Yes! Breaking Bad finally wins for best drama. I just fist-pumped for the first time tonight, including watching those Bears touchdowns. I think my favorite part of them winning was Louis C.K. gleefully cheering for them as they all stood up. Everyone loves this show (although the cast of Mad Men seems pretty disgruntled by it). Much deserved win, I’m assuming they’ll be back up there this time next year too.

So that wraps up the year in television (at least as far as the awards are concerned). We saw plenty of changes this year as the Modern Family finally stops getting rewarded for being uncreative (well for acting anyway). We saw plenty of new actors take home awards, including the greatest speech of all-time by Merrit Wever. We saw, as usual, terrible production tactics as the Emmys filled the show with countless minutes of fluff leading to acceptance speeches getting cut off at around the 30 second mark. And of course we saw all the actors do a wonderful job of acting like they actually wanted to be there. At the time of this posting the Bears are up 27-23 but the way this game is going it doesn't look good. Okay, Breaking Bad, I’ve been a very good and patient boy tonight and I’m very excited to view you now.

UPDATE: Bears up 40-23. So much for that worry.

What did everyone else think? Feel free to vent your qualms below.