It’s the first installment of NBC’s new game show The Million Second Quiz in which
contestants are tasked with answering trivia questions, head-to-head, in a hour
glass shaped structure placed in the middle of New York City. At least they’re
not going too overboard… It’s hosted by our lord and savior Ryan Seacrest who,
apparently, has become one step closer to world domination with his new title
of ”game show host.”
The show begins with Lord Ryan explain the basics of the
game, who can compete, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then we get to enter the world of
the ‘elite four’… or something like that. The official title is ‘Winner’s Row’
where the top four money winners essentially live at ove the course of the
show. Ryan shows us where they sleep, eat, Google chat to family members; but
where do they pee Ryan? WHERE DO THEY PEE!?
By the way, NBC would like to remind viewers that portions
are pre-recorded. This could come into play later. But I highly doubt it.
Barry Lander is the first challenger and I would like to
remind all of our semi-illeterate fans that this he not to be mistaken with Detroit
Lions running back Barry Sanders. Ryan asks what has made his marriage so successful
and, oh, we get marriage advice too from this game too!? What more could
America ask for?
So the guy in the chair is essentially hoping for Seacrest
to stall?
Okay everyone, here the answers to the first ‘bout’ with
Barry and Brandon; please decipher your own conspiracy theories based off of
them: Mea Culpa, Cocoa Puffs, Peyton Manning…love these questions so far…. Cub
(presented by Blake Shelton), FE Man, Hoda Kotb, Germany, Iowa (shocker),
knaidel, Indian Ocean. Holy cow, Bandon defeats Barry 19 to 11. What an upset!
A 19 year old takes down a 143 year old! Despite having over a century’s worth
of experience over Brandon, Barry could not take him down in the realm of
trivia.
Do you think players are banned from saying ‘final answer’? Ryan
would haaaaate that. In-between bouts we get a short documentary on Genie
Spooler who seems to be a true ground-breaker. She was the first one into winner’s
row but it didn’t last very long as other contestants quickly accumulated more winnings than her.
Now we're being introduced to the idea of "line jumpers". Some lady named Leigh has won the “line
jumper” position on the show because she has a smart phone and can download the show’s
app onto it. Leigh vs Brandon: (Oh! And it looks like the doubler can be used
as many times as they like? Wow, game-changer.) Answers: Sideburns, Medusa,
Carrie Underwood (presented by Heidi Klum), Sex and the City, Kate Upton,
Tokyo, Insect fragments, Riddick, 33, commander, Berry Gordy… And Brandon wins
again! Break up the Rays!
Love how the show didn’t account for wind, Seacrest is
another 2 mph of wind gust from being blown away.
Scott Haws is a local newscaster who is tasked with going to
a contestants home and asking them to join the show. Man I really hope no one
is home… But Teresa is! And she even has a handicapped daughter? Omg she’s
definitely got America rooting for her. Mother of 8 no less…
Now Brandon is about to surpass one of the top four in
Winner’s Row so enjoy your stardom while it lasts, Carolyn... Okay something weird
happened here where a random top 4 player got picked to compete, but he sent
Carolyn out there anyway so it all worked out. I think?
Carolyn vs. Brandon: Life of Pi, Milan, Alec Baldwin, Steve
Higgins (presented by Jimmy Fallon), Throwback Thursday (thankfully never heard
of it), $0 (sexist society keeping Michelle Obama from a paycheck), Dumpster Diving Divas, Bruno Mars, Proves it’s not a
cherry, Dora Marquez, largest underwater volcano, Golden Gate Bridge, and 100 zeros in a googol for the win!
In spectacular fashion Brandon takes it all and catapults
himself into first place! Wow. Say what you will about this game show/hour of television;
but I will, without a doubt, defend it for its utter lack of risk and commitment
to the mundane while disguising it as an intense live-event coverage. Ratings gold! Also, all hale Ryan Seacrest.
What did everyone else
think? Your comments are always welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment