2014 Golden Globes Live Blog

Once again Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting the award show with the globes that are golden, ensuring that NBC will get at least a few more viewers who appreciate good comedy will watch. As always, the nominees for most of the larger categories are ridiculous (I’m looking at you Liev Schreiber for Ray Donovan) but hopefully at least a few deserving nominees will come away with the award. And if they don’t? Well I’ll just rant about it here.

The monologue begins with a greeting of “good evening to all the women and gay men watching at home.” I’ll try to hit on some of the best jokes. Tam Hunks is here as Amy apparently knew she was going to mess up on that difficult name to remember and pronounce. Tina speaking to Matt Damon: “Matt on every other night, in any other room, you would be a big deal, but tonight you’re just a garbage person.” ‘Explosion at the Wig Factory’ was the original title for American Hustle. Amy Poehler asks the cameras to get a shot of Amy Poehler and they cut to Jennifer Lawrence who has a good laugh about it. Tina describes Gravity as: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then send one more moment with a woman his own age.” Poehler should make impersonating Scarlett Johansson her job as she tries to convince Tina that she was the voice of the computer in Her. Tom Hanks is still wearing his prosthetic genitals he got from Saving Mr. Banks.

Sandra Bullock and Tam Hunks present the first award of the evening for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture. In what comes as little surprise, Jennifer Lawrence comes away with the award for American Hustle and immediately thanks director David O. Russell for making her career what it is. As always she comes across as sweet and humble and yadda, yadda, yadda we all love her.

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis present the second award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television and Jacqueline Bisset for Dancing on the Edge. She appears to be genuinely shocked, possibly drunk, as she accept the award. The music does its best to play her off but she Jacqueline isn’t having it. After a bit of swearing she finally gets around to thanking her friends and family. Unfortunately she probably just cost Tina and Amy a couple of jokes to fit the time constraint but wow that was something to watch. 

Next up in the “no surprise whatsoever category” is Behind the Candelabra winning for Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. Yay? Getting another of the mini-series awards out of the way, Elizabeth Moss wins Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television for Top of the Lake. I haven’t seen TOL yet but I’m just going to go ahead and view this as a win for Peggy.

Fey and Poehler are back out and thanking the Associated Press for putting the whole event together, along with a bunch of ridiculously hard to pronounce names from the Foreign Press. Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie are out to introduce The Wolf of Wall Street but they’re accidentally given the wrong teleprompter lines, Margot adorably doesn’t want to improvise so someone is nice enough to bring out a paper with the right words on it. Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton (wearing a comforter?) are out to give the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama. The award appropriately goes to Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad. Heisenberg getting his damn recognition! Get back on up there Cranston, Breaking Bad wins for Best Television Drama and all remains right in the world. Actually, I can’t complain about any of the award selections so far.

Philomena is a real person? Did not know that. Kate Beckinsdale, P-Diddy and Usher are out to present Best Original Score for a Motion Picture with the winner being Alex Ebert and his hair for All is Lost. Haven’t seen the movie yet but I’m happy for Roger’s son. Best Original Song for a Motion Picture goes to ‘Ordinary Love’ for Mandela. Great, all Bono needs is something else to pump up his ego…

Amber Heard and the interchangeable Chicago Fire hunks are out to present Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. Jon Voight unfortunately comes away with the award for Ray Donovan. Not a fan of Voight and very much not a fan of Donovan but hey they can’t get all the awards right…oh wait they can? Well, that’s a bummer. Robert Downey Jr. arrives to join the fun and he announces that no matter what name he calls from this envelope, he’ll leave tonight as a winner. Amy Adams very deservingly wins Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy for American Hustle. Such a fantastic movie and role, glad Amy got her due and that her daughter was able to teach her basic human emotions.

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick the Entertainer are the next presenters. Does Kevin Bacon have to do a six degrees joke every time he’s out in public now? Their daughter Sophie Bacon joins them and Tina Fey has brought her adult son Randy along too. Randy, played by Poehler, hilariously asks if Idris Elba is his real Dad. Robin Wright wins Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama for House of Cards. She calls the Foreign Press a gaggle of characters and references Merrit Weaver’s great speech before heading off stage. Jim Carrey comes out and gives Shia LaBeouf a jab by making a plagiarism joke. After a clip of American Hustle Christoph Waltz is out to present the Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture and it goes to Jared Leto for his very transformative role in Dallas Buyers Club. If it’s body changing that is swaying the voters this year then that bodes well for Christian Bale and Matthew McConaghey.

Emma Thompson, who can probably do no wrong, comes out holding her heels and a glass of wine to present the award for Best Screenplay. Spike Jonze wins for Her; I want to see this movie so very bad. Julie Bowen and Seth Myers are out to present the award for Best Actor in a Comedy Series with the award going to Andy Samberg. I’m genuinely shocked but really happy Brooklyn Nine-Nine is getting some recognition. Hopefully this will all but assuredly lock the show into getting picked up for a second season.

Right out of commercial we get the winner for Best Foreign Language Film and The Great Beauty wins. The director pretty much does part two of the bit where Tina and my start listing off a bunch of insanely difficult names to pronounce. Poehler and Fey come back out to point out that Julia Louise Dreyfus has returned to the television section, now eating a hot dog. Melissa McCarthy and Jimmy Fallon are the next presenters, unfortunately a sandbag fell on Melissa’s head and she now thinks she’s Matt Damon. Michael Douglass wins Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series for Television or Something Like That for Behind the Candelabra. Congrats Douglass, but we don’t need the “cool guy pointing out hi other cool guy buddies” thing in your acceptance speech. You’re not a middle-schooler who just won for class treasurer.  


The award for Best Animated Feature Film and Frozen takes home the glory. Emilia Clarke and Chris O’Donnell are presenting the award for Best Actress in a Comedy and finally, FINALLY!, Amy Poehler wins for Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. So long overdue, so happy for her. Hopefully the Emmys learn something from this and recognize her performance this year as well.

Emma Stone, who will be in Woody Allen’s next film, comes out to introduce the clips from Woody Allen’s 74 movies. Diane Keaton appropriately takes the stage to accept the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award for Woody. She gives a great Woody quote about how art can only truly measured by how impactful it is in the moment. Verging on the edge of creepy territory she sings a song about how she and Woody are friends forever, but she clearly had good intentions and did well by Allen.

Ben Affleck, last year’s winner for Best Director, is out to present the award to Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity.  It’s tough to argue this one as the directing had to be spot on for such an image-driven film. Gravity wasn’t the best movie of the year but Cuaron deserves the win for putting the spectacle together. Also, thanks to Sandra Bullock for not quitting the film after he threatened to give her herpes. "Michael Bay described our next presenters as... oh, um, sorry, can't do this." -Tina Fey. Chris Evans and Uma Thurman are next out of the gate, Best Comedy Series goes to Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Wow did anyone see this coming? If this doesn’t guarantee a second season I don’t know what will.

Two-time Golden Globe winner Jennifer Lawrence get to present the award for Best Actor in a Comedy and it goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street. He pokes fun at the fact that he, and other very serious actors, are nominated in the “comedy” category because let’s face it, the Globes do it just so they can get more people to come to their little party. In related news, Leo still doesn’t have that Oscar.

Chris Hemsworth and some old racing dude (Nicky Lauda) take the stage to present a clip of Rush. Following them, Drew Barrymore comes out in her finest Easter dress to present the award for Best “Comedy” or Musical Motion Picture. The Golden Globe goes to American Hustle. I spoke earlier when Adams won for best supporting actress but this movie was easily my favorite of the year and it was certainly worthy of the win.

With 16 minutes remaining before 11:00, it’s looking like we’re going to be over on time. Leonardo returns to the stage to give Cate Blanchett the award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama for her role in Blue Jasmine. Cate thought the Magic Castle was weird compared to this, good thing she didn’t let Tobias Funke take her there. Jessica Chastain gets to give out the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Drama Series and McConaughey is going home a winner. Those Foreign Press guys love their weight-loss AIDS movies. Always fun to hear McConaughey do a Matthew McConaughey impersonation. And apparently he does a Borat “my wife” impression too.

The final award for the night is of course Best Motion Picture – Drama. Johnny Depp gets the honors to deliver the coveted award that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll win Best Picture at the Academy Awards but is usually a pretty good indicator. In a tone that suggests he’d rather be watching a documentary about how paper plates are made, Depp announces the winner is 12 Years a Slave, which would also be my choice and prediction for The Oscars. It’s got everything you’d expect out of a “best picture” and it was brilliant to watch s no complaints here.

All-in-all I thought it was a much better than average Golden Globes. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler crushed it in the monologue and probably the biggest qualm I can gather is that there wasn’t more of them throughout the show. As far as the awards themselves go there were certainly a few that weren’t perfect but hey, at least Liev didn’t win for playing Ray. They finished on time and with the end of the show comes the end of my live-blog, thanks for reading it everyone! 

Primetime Emmy Awards: 2013 (And Some Bears/Steelers) Live Blog

Ah there’s just too much on television tonight. Say what you will about how inaccurate it is for many shows/actors that deserve the awards, but I want to watch the Emmys because it is the culmination of a year of television which basically fuels me, and this blog, on a weekly basis. I also want to watch the Bears vs. Steelers game over on NBC. As a Bears fan living in Indianapolis I get to watch about 27.8% of their games every season so I hate to squander a chance, even if it’s against the lowly Steelers that they’ll probably lose embarrassingly to. Then of course there’s two dramas airing in the 9:00 slot that have certainly piqued my interest. Breaking Bad has its penultimate episode airing and of course it has to be watched in a timely manner to avoid internet spoilers. And finally but certainly least is Dexter which probably be pushed to the end of my night, if not tomorrow, but it is the end of a show that lasted eight years and it did have its moments over the years.

The Emmys and the Bears undoubtedly have the most “live” appeal since it sucks to watch a sports game after it’s happened and the Emmys are way more fun when you’re reading tweets about how happy/disappointed people are with the goings-on. So my thumb will be getting a lot of work hitting the ‘recall’ button between the two until at least 9:30. By then the anticipation of watching Breaking Bad will force me to break into the DVR and watch. At least by then enough will be recorded so I can fly through the commercials.

So I’m going to keep this pretty concise to the big categories and stray observations of the broadcast, plus the occasional Bears update as the game goes along. Oh and I’m sure I’ll miss more than couple noteworthy moments (especially after I check in on Walter White and the gang) but it is what it is, let’s watch the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards.

The show kicks off with our host Neil Patrick Harris walking down a hallway talking about everything he’s sacrificing by hosting for a second time. He’s led into a room filled with monitors (Matrix style) where he takes on the envious task of trying to binge-watch an entire year of television. The shows characters are edited to appear as if they’re helping to coach Neil through this and give him some advice but the sketch falls very flat and seems very messy. The monologue isn’t much better as NPH plays it extremely safe with his jabs, I suppose I’ve grown accustom to more of a roast format here. Former hosts begin to come on stage, Jimmy Kimmel and Jane Lynch help Neil by talking him through this. They, of course, are followed by Jimmy Fallon and Conan O'Brien to complete the line of all the recent hosts. Conan explains how different the world was when he hosted: “people had storage and they didn’t even have to fight for it.” The camera pans out and we see Kevin Spacey break the fourth wall and talk to directly to us, the viewers, as he explains how this was all part of his plan. Finally, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler chime in with some commentary about the direction they’d like to see the show go. I’m pretty sure these two who can do no wrong at this point.

This segues into Fey and Poehler presenting the first award of the night, Outstanding supporting actress for a Comedy Series. And shockingly the award goes to Merrit Wever for Nurse Jackie, Modern Family didn’t win! Great acceptance speech: “Thank you so much. I gotta to go, bye.”

Switching over to NBC just in time to watch Carrie Underwood sing the Sunday Night Football song, haven’t missed anything from the game yet.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a comedy series goes to Tony Hale! Yes the Modern Family shake-up  has begun! Wow they’re playing Tony Hale off very quickly though, you’d think there’d be some extra time after Merrit literllay took 5 seconds for hers. I’ve never seen Veep but I love Tony Hale in everything he’s been in and he was very deserving of the award.

Channel change over to Bears game, they’re not losing!

Back over to the Emmys and out come Alec Baldwin and Jon Hamm who is looking amazing with a beard. For the record, I’d love to watch a show with these two. They present the award for best lead actress in a comedy series and it goes to Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. Well, at least the Modern Family Empire toppled down but the JLD monopoly keeps Poehler off the board for another year. Tony Hale hilariously goes up there with her after being played off by the music after he won.

Bears up 3-0 but ugh, they just gave up a 10 yard run to Felix Jones, could be a long night.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series goes to Jim Parsons. I have to say this seems like an “asterisk category” without Nick Offerman being nominated, but whatever. I’m not a fan of Big Bang Theory but you can’t blame that on Parsons, he really does carry that show.

Woah, Bears quickly up 10-0, Steelers must have had a turnover.

Matt Damon and Michael Douglas introduce Elton John who will be performing. Sorry Elton but I’m going to assume you rock it out there and switch back over to NBC for a few minutes. Bears are at the 5 yard line!? Holy cow they score here and it make my decisions of what to watch for the rest of the night much easier. They do, 1 yard touchdown run by Michael Bush. Scratch that, refs called him down at the two inch line, Tressman challenges. Bears lose the challenge and decide to go for it on fourth down. Bush gets in for 18^th time on this series, 17-0 Bears. Although as Matt Forte owner I really could have used him getting the score instead of Bush… okay so it’s hard to write about sports and make it sound exciting.

Back to Emmys, looks like Damon and Douglass (coming to CBS this fall) accepted an award from someone. Cool? Arg, both shows at commercial at the same time and BB started 7 minutes ago. Must. Be. Patient.

The cast of HIMYM give us a public service announcement about EHD (Excessive Hosting Disorder). Arsenio Hall as he has also been afflicted with this disease. Hah, we find out that NPH can get help at ‘The Ryan Seacrest Center for Excessive Hosting’, got to admit that was pretty funny.

Henry Bormell wins for best writing posthumously. Glad he got to win and that episode of Homeland he wrote (“Q&A”) was really fantastic, especially in a season of Homeland which was not at the top of its game. Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series goes to Anna Gunn, time for the Breaking Bad annihilation to begin.

Back over to the Bears, Pittsburgh is in the red zone which seems to be a recurring theme every time I switch channels. Roethlisberger makes a poor throw so the Steelers are forced to take the field goal. 17-3 Bears.

It’s about time Neil breaks into a musical number. The song takes a meta approach as the songs theme is about it being in the middle of the show as opposed to it being a typical opening musical number like always. Hey at least Nathan FIllion comes out to sing with him, but as much as I love Sarah Silverman I’m pretty disappointed that Felicia Day isn’t out there. Would have been a nice Doctor Horrible reunion. Oh and Outstanding Reality Competition goes to The Voice. Yup, don’t care.

Bears get a pick 6 from Major Wright. His Dad, Sergeant, must be so proud. 24-3 Bears.

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series goes to Bobby Canavalle. Wow what an upset,I guess I need to start watching Boardwalk Empire. I would have loved to see Jonathon Banks win though for the work he did on Breaking Bad… and apparently Canavalle’s married to Rose Byrne so he’s just piling it on these other nominees.

Crap, Roethlisberger to Antonio Brown for a Steelers touchdown. 24-10 Chicago and somehow I keep switching over just in time to watch every score.

Holy cow, Jeff Daniels wins for Best Actor in a Drama Series. Lots and lots of upsets this year but I can’t say I’m ecstatic about this one. If it’s not going to go to Cranston then can we at least give it to Jon Hamm? Otherwise AMC is going to keep splitting up this final season of Mad Men until he wins one. Speaking of Mad Men, Don Cheadle gives us a history of television in the 1960’s. Save it for Mathew Weiner, Emmys. 

Now Carrie Underwood is singing ‘Yesterday’ for some reason, big night for her on both channels I’m watching but this move doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series goes to Clare Danes. No surprise, move along everyone. Back to the Bears game. Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth are discussing how Jay Cutler was brought in to help interview who the Bears coach would be. And now it’s halftime. There’s some strange music set to themes of shows? Sorry I missed the introduction to whatever this is, I was over on the Bears game for a while and I think I’m going back. Of course during halftime of the game almost nothing happened on the Emmys... Approximately 40 minutes until I start Breaking Bad.

Outstanding Variety Series goes to The Colbert Report! It’s been a night of upsets and I’m really glad that Colbert finally gets his due. You have to figure that Jon Stewart taking off the whole summer has something to do with The Daily Show not winning for 138^th straight time but you can’t say this wasn’t a long time coming.

Haven’t checked in on the Bears in a while, they’re up to 27-13 with 5 minutes left in the third quarter. One more score by them and I don’t see any way this beleaguered Steelers team can put up enough points to win. Matt Forte got his ankle rolled over on the last play and has to limp to the sideline, that doesn’t bode well.

Time for the always sad In-Memoriam, although this year we got a few deaths covered early on in the broadcast making death a repeated theme throughout the evening. As usual we lost some great ones, but at least we still have Miley Cyrus.  

Wow Antonio Brown just made an absolutely amazing one-handed grab for a Steelers touchdown. 27-20 Bears but the Steelers have all the momentum. Urgh. On the bright side it looks like Matt Forte is fine.

Michael Douglass wins for his role in Behind the Candelabra. He makes a few gay puns and has a laugh with Matt Damon about them. We’re 10:59 and still have a ways to go here. Let’s go Emmys, I want to watch my show!

Will Ferrell brings his kids up to present the last awards for best Comedy and Drama. How does this man crack me up so easily? He comes up completely disheveled explain he just got a call from the Emmys 45 minutes ago that they needed him to come fill in for Maggie Smith. The award for Outstanding Comedy Series goes to Modern Family. There’s no justice that it won over Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, Louie, New Girl, etc. but the Emmy voters love this show for some reason and that will never change.

Yes! Breaking Bad finally wins for best drama. I just fist-pumped for the first time tonight, including watching those Bears touchdowns. I think my favorite part of them winning was Louis C.K. gleefully cheering for them as they all stood up. Everyone loves this show (although the cast of Mad Men seems pretty disgruntled by it). Much deserved win, I’m assuming they’ll be back up there this time next year too.

So that wraps up the year in television (at least as far as the awards are concerned). We saw plenty of changes this year as the Modern Family finally stops getting rewarded for being uncreative (well for acting anyway). We saw plenty of new actors take home awards, including the greatest speech of all-time by Merrit Wever. We saw, as usual, terrible production tactics as the Emmys filled the show with countless minutes of fluff leading to acceptance speeches getting cut off at around the 30 second mark. And of course we saw all the actors do a wonderful job of acting like they actually wanted to be there. At the time of this posting the Bears are up 27-23 but the way this game is going it doesn't look good. Okay, Breaking Bad, I’ve been a very good and patient boy tonight and I’m very excited to view you now.

UPDATE: Bears up 40-23. So much for that worry.

What did everyone else think? Feel free to vent your qualms below.

Parks and Recreation: ‘Pawnee Commons’

‘Pawnee Commons’ saw the welcome return of several great things of Parks past: the Pawnee/Eagleton rivalry, Wamapoke County Public Radio, Bert Macklin, and of course DJ Roomba. It’s pretty amazing that this show has established its settings and characters so well that they can have an episode where essentially not much happens and old moments are rehashed but despite that it was still another near masterpiece of joy.

Leslie will thankfully always be skeptical of the neighboring of Eagleton and because of it we got so many great moments from her and Ben’s trip across the border. I especially enjoyed the bit about how Eagleton was somehow able to miraculously have palm trees despite being in the middle of Indiana which was an excellence use of the fact that the show is filmed in California. I will say that I’ve never been a fan of the sitcom character not being to get words out of their mouths to admit they were wrong or to apologize, but I did appreciate Amy Poehler’s effort to try and make it work.

We also got the final mission for special FBI agent Bert Macklin who comes to the tough realization that after 40 years on the force, and being undercover without being able to see his family during this time either, it’s time to hang up the shades. It’s always fun to see April and Andy goofing around and getting to play the ridiculous characters they create, and it never hurts if the payoff results in one or both of get to learn a life lesson along the way.

The rest of the Parks Department was off helping Tommy Fresh spruce up the store property he just bought for his new business “Rent-a-Swag.” This was probably a bit of a sub-par plot, I think I either would have like to see less time devoted to this or much more as a couple characters, Ron and Chris in particular, didn’t get much to do here. But the store seems to be up and running and it will undoubtedly provide some interesting stories going forward.

Other favorite moments:

• ‘Jazz + Jazz = Jazz’ is pure radio gold.
• Now Entering Pawnee: Good Luck With That.
• “We asked for help and they claimed they weren’t home. An entire town claimed they weren’t home.”
• “They call their boogers Pawnee caviar.”

What did everyone else think? Comments are always welcome.