Once again Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting the award
show with the globes that are golden, ensuring that NBC will get at least a few
more viewers who appreciate good comedy will watch. As always, the nominees for
most of the larger categories are ridiculous (I’m looking at you Liev Schreiber
for Ray Donovan) but hopefully at
least a few deserving nominees will come away with the award. And if they don’t?
Well I’ll just rant about it here.
The monologue begins with a greeting of “good evening to all
the women and gay men watching at home.” I’ll try to hit on some of the best
jokes. Tam Hunks is here as Amy apparently knew she was going to mess up on
that difficult name to remember and pronounce. Tina speaking to Matt Damon: “Matt
on every other night, in any other room, you would be a big deal, but tonight
you’re just a garbage person.” ‘Explosion at the Wig Factory’ was the original
title for American Hustle. Amy Poehler
asks the cameras to get a shot of Amy Poehler and they cut to Jennifer Lawrence
who has a good laugh about it. Tina describes Gravity as: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather
float away into space and die then send one more moment with a woman his own
age.” Poehler should make impersonating Scarlett Johansson her job as she tries
to convince Tina that she was the voice of the computer in Her. Tom Hanks is still wearing his prosthetic genitals he got from
Saving Mr. Banks.
Sandra Bullock and Tam Hunks present the first award of the
evening for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion
Picture. In what comes as little surprise, Jennifer Lawrence comes away
with the award for American Hustle and
immediately thanks director David O. Russell for making her career what it is.
As always she comes across as sweet and humble and yadda, yadda, yadda we all
love her.
Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis present the second award for Best
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or
Motion Picture Made for Television and Jacqueline Bisset for Dancing on the Edge. She appears to be
genuinely shocked, possibly drunk, as she accept the award. The music does its best
to play her off but she Jacqueline isn’t having it. After a bit of swearing she
finally gets around to thanking her friends and family. Unfortunately she
probably just cost Tina and Amy a couple of jokes to fit the time constraint
but wow that was something to watch.
Next up in the “no surprise whatsoever category” is Behind the Candelabra winning for Best
Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. Yay? Getting another
of the mini-series awards out of the way, Elizabeth Moss wins Best Performance
by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
for Top of the Lake. I haven’t seen TOL yet but I’m just going to go ahead
and view this as a win for Peggy.
Fey and Poehler are back out and thanking the Associated
Press for putting the whole event together, along with a bunch of ridiculously
hard to pronounce names from the Foreign Press. Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie
are out to introduce The Wolf of Wall
Street but they’re accidentally given the wrong teleprompter lines, Margot
adorably doesn’t want to improvise so someone is nice enough to bring out a
paper with the right words on it. Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton (wearing a
comforter?) are out to give the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a
Television Series - Drama. The award appropriately goes to Bryan
Cranston for Breaking Bad. Heisenberg
getting his damn recognition! Get back on up there Cranston, Breaking Bad wins for Best Television
Drama and all remains right in the world. Actually, I can’t complain about any
of the award selections so far.
Philomena is a real person? Did not know that. Kate Beckinsdale,
P-Diddy and Usher are out to present Best Original Score for a Motion Picture
with the winner being Alex Ebert and his hair for All is Lost. Haven’t seen the movie yet but I’m happy for Roger’s
son. Best Original Song for a Motion Picture goes to ‘Ordinary Love’ for Mandela. Great, all Bono needs is
something else to pump up his ego…
Amber Heard and the interchangeable Chicago Fire hunks
are out to present Best Performance
by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture
Made for Television. Jon Voight unfortunately comes away with the award
for Ray Donovan. Not a fan of Voight
and very much not a fan of Donovan but
hey they can’t get all the awards right…oh wait they can? Well, that’s a
bummer. Robert Downey Jr. arrives to join the fun and he announces that no matter what name he calls from this
envelope, he’ll leave tonight as a winner. Amy Adams very deservingly wins Best
Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy for American
Hustle. Such a fantastic movie and role, glad Amy got her due and that her daughter was able to teach her basic human emotions.
Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick the Entertainer are the next
presenters. Does Kevin Bacon have to do a six degrees joke every time he’s out
in public now? Their daughter Sophie Bacon joins them and Tina Fey has brought
her adult son Randy along too. Randy, played by Poehler, hilariously asks if
Idris Elba is his real Dad. Robin Wright wins Best Performance by an Actress in
a Television Series – Drama for House
of Cards. She calls the Foreign Press a gaggle of characters and references
Merrit Weaver’s great speech before heading off stage. Jim Carrey comes out and
gives Shia LaBeouf a jab by making a plagiarism joke. After a clip of American Hustle Christoph Waltz is out
to present the Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion
Picture and it goes to Jared Leto for his very transformative role in Dallas Buyers Club. If it’s body
changing that is swaying the voters this year then that bodes well for
Christian Bale and Matthew McConaghey.
Emma Thompson, who can probably do no wrong, comes out
holding her heels and a glass of wine to present the award for Best Screenplay.
Spike Jonze wins for Her; I want to
see this movie so very bad. Julie Bowen and Seth Myers are out to present the award
for Best Actor in a Comedy Series with the award going to Andy Samberg. I’m genuinely
shocked but really happy Brooklyn
Nine-Nine is getting some recognition. Hopefully this will all but
assuredly lock the show into getting picked up for a second season.
Right out of commercial we get the winner for Best Foreign Language
Film and The Great Beauty wins. The
director pretty much does part two of the bit where Tina and my start listing
off a bunch of insanely difficult names to pronounce. Poehler and Fey come back
out to point out that Julia Louise Dreyfus has returned to the television
section, now eating a hot dog. Melissa McCarthy and Jimmy Fallon are the next
presenters, unfortunately a sandbag fell on Melissa’s head and she now thinks she’s
Matt Damon. Michael Douglass wins Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series
for Television or Something Like That for Behind
the Candelabra. Congrats Douglass, but we don’t need the “cool guy pointing
out hi other cool guy buddies” thing in your acceptance speech. You’re not a middle-schooler
who just won for class treasurer.
The award for Best Animated Feature Film and Frozen takes home the glory. Emilia Clarke and Chris O’Donnell are presenting the award for Best Actress in a Comedy and finally, FINALLY!, Amy Poehler wins for Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. So long overdue, so happy for her. Hopefully the Emmys learn something from this and recognize her performance this year as well.
The award for Best Animated Feature Film and Frozen takes home the glory. Emilia Clarke and Chris O’Donnell are presenting the award for Best Actress in a Comedy and finally, FINALLY!, Amy Poehler wins for Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. So long overdue, so happy for her. Hopefully the Emmys learn something from this and recognize her performance this year as well.
Emma Stone, who will be in Woody Allen’s next film, comes
out to introduce the clips from Woody Allen’s 74 movies. Diane Keaton appropriately
takes the stage to accept the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award for
Woody. She gives a great Woody quote about how art can only truly measured by
how impactful it is in the moment. Verging on the edge of creepy territory she
sings a song about how she and Woody are friends forever, but she clearly had
good intentions and did well by Allen.
Ben Affleck, last year’s winner for Best Director, is out to
present the award to Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity.
It’s tough to argue this one as the
directing had to be spot on for such an image-driven film. Gravity wasn’t the
best movie of the year but Cuaron deserves the win for putting the spectacle together.
Also, thanks to Sandra Bullock for not quitting the film after he threatened to
give her herpes. "Michael Bay described our next presenters as... oh, um,
sorry, can't do this." -Tina Fey. Chris Evans and Uma Thurman are
next out of the gate, Best Comedy Series goes to Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Wow did
anyone see this coming? If this doesn’t guarantee a second season I don’t know
what will.
Two-time Golden Globe winner Jennifer Lawrence get to present
the award for Best Actor in a Comedy and it goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street. He pokes fun at
the fact that he, and other very serious actors, are nominated in the “comedy”
category because let’s face it, the Globes do it just so they can get more
people to come to their little party. In related news, Leo still doesn’t have
that Oscar.
Chris Hemsworth and some old racing dude (Nicky Lauda) take
the stage to present a clip of Rush. Following
them, Drew Barrymore comes out in her finest Easter dress to present the award
for Best “Comedy” or Musical Motion Picture. The Golden Globe goes to American Hustle. I spoke earlier when
Adams won for best supporting actress but this movie was easily my favorite of
the year and it was certainly worthy of the win.
With 16 minutes remaining before 11:00, it’s looking like we’re
going to be over on time. Leonardo returns to the stage to give Cate Blanchett
the award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
for her role in Blue Jasmine. Cate
thought the Magic Castle was weird compared to this, good thing she didn’t let
Tobias Funke take her there. Jessica Chastain gets to give out the award for
Best Performance by an Actor in a Drama Series and McConaughey is going home a
winner. Those Foreign Press guys love their weight-loss AIDS movies. Always fun
to hear McConaughey do a Matthew McConaughey impersonation. And apparently he
does a Borat “my wife” impression too.
The final award for the night is of course Best Motion
Picture – Drama. Johnny Depp gets the honors to deliver the coveted award that
doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll win Best Picture at the Academy Awards but is
usually a pretty good indicator. In a tone that suggests he’d rather be
watching a documentary about how paper plates are made, Depp announces the winner is 12 Years a Slave, which would also be my
choice and prediction for The Oscars. It’s got everything you’d expect out of a
“best picture” and it was brilliant to watch s no complaints here.
All-in-all I thought it was a much better than average Golden Globes. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
crushed it in the monologue and probably the biggest qualm I can gather is
that there wasn’t more of them throughout the show. As far as the awards
themselves go there were certainly a few that weren’t perfect but hey, at least
Liev didn’t win for playing Ray. They finished on time and with the end of the
show comes the end of my live-blog, thanks for reading it everyone!
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